I don’t know much, but I can tell you this: God is definitely NOT a female!

Woah! It would be thrilling seeing into the mind that wrote this hilarious and sarcastic piece. Lengthy, but I can assure you, you won’t notice. Wow!!! Got me LOWTIME! (Laffin Out With Tears In My Eyes.)

Shards Of DuBois

God must not be female.  I don’t care what religion you believe in, but there is no way in hell He would have designed women to go through all the crap they go through, if He was a woman.  No Way!

And as far as Eve goes, supposedly the stupid woman tempted Adam to the point that angered God SO much that he cursed all women:  I can tell you this, if I ever meet her, I will immediately smack the snot out of her.  The Moron!

Not only do we suffer embarrassment as young girls, with strange blobs growing unevenly off our chests, but then for the next 40 wonderful years we have to deal with bleeding once a month that smells like the stench of a monster’s ball.  Cramps and headaches, douche-nozzles and the mood swings that will bring you to a place of wanting to murder Eve in a slow painful way, on a…

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14 responses to “I don’t know much, but I can tell you this: God is definitely NOT a female!

  1. Oh my, now I’m scared… just kill me now please! That’s quite an ode to womanhood, Shards what did you do to tick off the big guy, lol.
    Hahaha, how dare you bemoan our beloved Snuffaluffagus thing! I’m sure the kiddies on Sesame St. would be shocked, Shocked!
    I love your satire…. it is a satire…. right?? 😯

    Hey Doc, e2-e4, your move.

  2. Good reblog!!

  3. My dear friend, I have nominated you for The Liebster Award! Congratulations! Please visit this link for the rules: transcendingbordersblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/the-liebster-award-2/

  4. in case you didn’t see my comments on my site, thanks for the reblog Doc, I just wanted to pop in and tell you….your new tag line….”your normal crazy spiritual human” only comes through as “your normal crazy” hahahahaha which is so fkn appropos!!! mmlol

Even the most absurd thoughts can't ruffle this Enchanted Writer. Spill, please...

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