on passion for monstrous things

Always…

Like twins from birth
I understand most of your thoughts
Always know how to flick you on
Like a match struck together from heaven
Flavoured with the essence of hell
I play with your body indiscriminately
Tickle your emotions and fantasies
And you like it
This game of passions
I am a part of who/what you are
Your ego, personality, passions

Then…

You were seeing another and things changed
Suddenly you seemed the sensible one
Our adventures then seemed childish and risky
As you settled for a placid vague life
Where things are not tangible
Where you choke your desires and “needs”
Drifting passionlessly
Like the smoke
From dead embers
That once blazed with life
Yet you called our relationship unrealistic

You would give me a wise look
Asking “Where were we headed?”
I had become the clichéd “fool for love”
I still stuck around to my need for you
Because without you
My existence has never made much sense
Then you’d come
With head low
And dignity battered
Begging for a little of what we had
A junkie dying for a fix

I won’t admit to how good it felt
Though I preferred you’d want me
With all your dignity and senses and will intact
Then when we are done with our tango of love
You’d dump me again like faeces
How do you tell me to my face
To go *#@(a swear word meaning “have sex”)@#* myself
In front of a mirror
You think I don’t know how I look
The two horns and cold dark eyes
My bloody fangs and crawly warty skin

You think you didn’t know these
All the while we were insanely in love
Why do you now feel a need to hurt me
Now you call me a monster
Because of your new lover
In the camp of the Christians
You should know how many of them
Play around with monsters like me
But what WE have is real
And I cherish a TOKEN of our love deeply
For a baby monster now grows in my womb!

Later…

P.S.: And the monster was delivered
Of a live healthy horrid baby at term
Who didn’t give a care for sentiments
And later became the death of its father
R.I.P. O poor Christian soul

22 responses to “on passion for monstrous things

  1. Holy flippin slap across the face, Doc. That was raw and difficult to read, with a whopper of an ending. Feels like it came straight from the heart, but somehow I’m hoping you made all this up.

    • Nice having you around, Trent. Please, help explain how it was difficult to read. The syntax (construct of the lines), the vocabulary, confusingly obscure meanings, ???
      Thanks for your kind comment.

      • Just the vehemence. The syntax was great, but there’s a rawness and hurt in writing that isn’t always the most comfortable, if you take my meaning. I hate prying into people’s personal lives but this feels like I’m doing so, which is brave on you if this is personal detail, and wow if you just made this up. Profound personal content always makes me jittery, I dunno why.

  2. True that wordsmith. Whoa brutal, are you writing from experience? As a Christian? As the devil herself? How keen/ clean is your conscience?
    For you’ve certainly dreamt-up a masterpiece of divine proportions. 😀

    • Oh my! I am no wordsmith, Earthean.
      Hmm!!! I tried to write from all perspectives. I primarily appeared as the monster, but still expressed the mind of the Christian.
      My conscience? Tough question, Maddy. Hehehe. Thanks for visiting.

  3. Shards Of DuBois

    you have an evil monster side I never knew existed….and a female one at that!!!! dang….doc, that was awesome!!! I could almost taste your anger!! glad it wasn’t me that ticked you off!!!! 😉

    • So, how well d’you think I connected with this monster-side? You seem to relate well with animals. It appears I relate more with them when it’s a dark/cynical piece. Hehehe!
      You felt anger off my sadness? Interesting.

  4. Shards Of DuBois

    it was the bloody fangs and warty skin….you seemed a bit upset she didn’t appreciate your looks….bwahahaha

    • Ha! I’ll confess then I played with a bit of a double entendre there, because my fangs are actually bloody and skin warty. Ain’t I truly a monster? That can’t change. You caught the little twist of red(anger) there, in the midst of the blues(sadness).

  5. I wish this is not real – This is painful.

    Your writing is honest and beautiful – I specially like the line…But what WE have is real….
    And I cherish a TOKEN of our love deeply….

    Bless you! Keep writing, always – straight from your heart. Writing is a great healer.

  6. Amita is my mom’s name, Amit – 🙂 I am ‘just’ Monika

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