Company log excerpts discovered on a dark website DeadSeaScrollse.onion . (PLEASE, DO NOT CLICK ON THE WEB LINK. Or, should I have put a warning before the links?!)
4th November, 1016 BCE.
We interviewed a group of circus freaks. We’ll give it to them –they were mean businessmen, headed by a Karab Amabo. They did more than card tricks and illusions. They did some few cool dark sh*t. They manufactured pythons from hats, and turned water in our glasses to red wine, frogs jumping out of them. We sent them to our Egypt headquarters.
8 years later and they still couldn’t grow living organisms from sand. However will they be useful in hastening the ascension of The Boss. We already know computer silicon chips will play a role in his process.
We sent our crony –Dlanod Pmurt –to continue after they ended.
22nd July, 860 BCE
The new fellows had done pretty well in their campaigns under their leader Mr Ahab, and were good spokesmen. They built many churches and shrines which served as service outlets for The Company’s agendas. They made us out to be illuminated scientists, philanthropists and artists. People really liked us.
Along came the same Dove Agents who messed up our operations in Egypt. They are as unpredictable as the wind, and are efficient and fierce like flames. Their code is Heb1v7John3v8. We unfortunately have not been able to properly profile and apprehend them because they blend in so well, are gentle and we don’t see them coming.
A month after rumours they were in the district, there was a shootout and our men displayed impressive firepower.
“White fire, help… zzzzzz” were the sounds of alarm and sizzling of roasting flesh that we heard before the call was terminated. Usually, one expects some degree of drama, some witty banter of words and grudges, and a fight to finish, but these Doves apparently don’t live for showbiz. They are simple and splendid. And how did fire burn all 450 of our agents during a heavy rain?
24th July, 31 AD
We have used supernatural tricks and employed brute force. Now we wait for this lawyer we interviewed yesterday. He didn’t say much. His act was apparently to project mystery and wonder. He told us he would gather his team of Pharisees and would rather present his strategy to them. Well, this fellow also appears to love the suspense game. After he left, we consulted amongst ourselves on the best way to terminate him if he should fail. We would be sure to especially deal with him for all the hype.
5 months later, we got an e-mail: ‘Matthew 9 vs 32-34 = Right after that, as the blind men were leaving, a man who had been struck speechless by an evil spirit was brought to Jesus. As soon as Jesus threw the evil tormenting spirit out, the man talked away just as if he’d been talking all his life. The people were up on their feet applauding: “There’s never been anything like this in Israel!” The Pharisees were left sputtering, “Hocus pocus. It’s nothing but hocus pocus. He’s probably made a pact with the Devil.”‘
Brilliant! The smart lawyer had played the agents well. Their own book of codes had always talked about deceivers and false prophets. So, the best way to hit them is to make the public begin to see the real ones as the heretics and bad guys. This is of course one of the oldest tricks in the book.
This serves our agenda well. By now, the public is so enraged against them they don’t want this period called Christmas. Just makes it easy for us to shove consumerism down their throats. Let the damned public see this period as just a holiday to spend and spend! Of course, it may not have even been when the bloody Christ was born, but before, they would have had reminders of Him all over the place during this season.
AUTHOR’S DISCLAIMER: I was sent this anonymously in the early hours of today, and am not liable.